Why does life often feel unfair, even when, on paper, it looks pretty good?
In therapy, clients often say: “Why does this always happen to me?”
But it’s not always.
It just feels like always.
This comes from a bias called headwinds/tailwinds asymmetry.
When biking into the wind, we feel every push against us.
But when the wind is at our back,
we barely notice it’s helping.
Life works the same way.
We notice every setback:
– The job we didn’t get
– The partner/friend who pulled away
– The conflict that came out of nowhere
– The childhood we wish had been different
But we forget:
– The mentor who showed up at just the right time
– The stranger who was kind when we needed it
– The love we stumbled into
– The resilience we somehow built
Randomness doesn’t play favourites.
Everyone gets their 1-in-a-million misfortune.
But when we take it personally,
we start to believe life is against us.
It isn’t.
It’s just life.
Notice the tailwinds.
They’re quieter, but they’ve been carrying you too.
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