Imagine this:
You’re driving home and another car suddenly cuts you off. Your heart races. You grip the wheel tighter. You think, “What a jerk! They're just trying to piss me off! They need to be taught a lesson!” You fume the rest of the drive.
Now rewind.
Same situation: someone cuts you off. But this time you think, “That's a jerk move! It's over now, everyone's safe. Driving poorly will catch up with them eventually. No point letting it ruin my night.” You feel a flash of irritation that sits with you for a bit, but eventually it passes.
Same event — two radically different reactions. Why?
This is the essence of the A-B-C model, developed by psychologist Albert Ellis:
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A – Activating Event: Something happens (e.g. getting cut off).
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B – Belief: You interpret the event (e.g. “They're trying to piss me off, they need to be taught a lesson!” vs. “No point in letting them ruin my drive”).
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C – Consequence: Your belief shapes your emotional and behavioural response (e.g. lingering anger vs. letting it go).
This model highlights a powerful truth: it’s not the event that causes our emotional response — it’s our belief about it.
We can't always control what happens, but we can shape how we interpret and respond to it.
As the old saying goes: Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
