Fixing a Problem vs Fixating on a Problem

It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.

Meaning: when confronted with a problem, an ounce of solution outperforms 10,000 pounds of worry or frustration.

This is especially true for problems in relationships, where fixating on problems is a common cause of being stuck in a “feedback loop,” rather than moving the conversation forward, toward a discussion about solutions.

A candle representing knowledge as light in darkness
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